[This post originally published by Harriet Fancott at See Theo Run on 2/22/13]
Open adoption is much more than a contract or a philosophy or an ideal. It’s an act of bravery and courage by all who enter.
It takes courage to:
- to place your child in the hands of relative strangers for life.
- to trust that parents have their child’s best interests at heart.
- to experience and express your grief.
- to share a life.
- to reopen lines of communications when frayed.
- to trust that you can have a foot in two families and be a whole, confident person.
- to reach out when your arms are tired.
- to say “This hurts.”
- to bear witness to grief and pain and know that it’s not yours to bear.
- to ask for what you want, accept the response, wait, and ask again.
- to say “I need a break.”
- to set boundaries when needed and relax them when they no longer serve a purpose.
- to nurture relationships that are difficult or challenging.
- to know you are loved, and accept that love.
- to change, adapt and shift your perspective over time.
- to put away your ego, set aside your feelings, and do what’s right for your children.
About the author:
Harriet Fancott is a mother in a tricultural adoptive family. She explores the intricacies of open adoption and just plain parenting on her blog at www.seetheorun.com. She makes a living as a communications specialist and writer.