Open Adoption Bloggers

The Best of Open Adoption Blogs list celebrates the best of online writing about openness in adoption from 2012, as selected by the blogging community. Bloggers could contribute posts they wrote as well as posts written by others. Submissions will be added to the list through January 31, so if your favorite post isn’t listed, be sure to submit it.

The submissions are listed in the order in which they were received–no “best of the best” or rankings here.

Section I: Recognizing Our Own Writing

When a Birthmother Closes an Open Adoption. by Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy of Musings of the Lame–Life as a Birthmother

Insecurities and Doubts about Adopting by Wendy of Our Story: A Blog About Open Adoption

My public speaking debut by Traathy of Happily Ever After

How the Today Show ʺExpertsʺ Botched a Question on Open Adoption by Lori Lavender Luz of LavenderLuz

Who Needs Her? by Barbara Herel of Improv Mom

Adoptions in America: Open or Closed by Addison Cooper of Adoption at the Movies

Waiting for Forever by Danielle Barnsley-Cervo of Another Version of Mother

Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Peach of Neither Here Nor There

Warnings About Adoption Advertising by Camille of Embracing the Odyssey

Nine Months by Christy of Daniel and Christy: Hoping to Adopt

Adopting Transracially by Alice Anne of Xavier & Alice Anne

Positivity by Jess of Two Mommies Trying to Adopt

I Say We’re Adopting, You Say… by Colleen Oakes of The Ranunculus Adventures

Prison Blues by Rain of Weathering Storms

Adoption Thoughts by Wendryn of Wendryn Doubt

Simple When It’s Anything But by Lunasea of Life From Here

Public Enemy #1 by Maggie of Pink Shoes

After a Visit by Bumberjoy of Bumber’s Bumblings

Jackson, On Telling Kids They Were Adopted by Robyn C of The Chittister Family

Real and Fake by Meg McKivigan of God Will Fill This Nest

Relationships by Melinda of He’s Our Heart; She’s Our Hero

Without by Ariel of I Miss You

Affirmation, and How a Sitcom Made Me Ugly Cry by Geochick of An Engineer Becomes a Mom

The Troubling Intersection of Adoption and Mental Illness by Laura Dennis of Expat (Adoptee) Mommy

Spectrum or Something More by KatjaMichelle of Therapy Is Expensive

Pregnant? Need help? Adoption is not the answer! by Jess of  “She’s Only The Birthmother”

Not Meant to Be by Cat of Cat’s Litterbox

Section II: Recognizing Great Writing by Others

Christmas Mourning by Ariel of I Miss You
Writes Claudia, “This blog breaks my heart. I see her quietly sitting, alone, in her grief, wondering desperately, if she will get her updates, not knowing what to do next, knowing she is powerless. The whole blog is perfectly stereotypical of what life as a birthmother is like, still. She relinquished in August of 2012, but it’s still the same. She could be me. This post demonstrates the worry and fear of the isolation, of the fear, of the life as a birthmother. I read her words and cry for us all.”

This Year’s December Goal: To Be by Jenna of The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Writes Wendy, “It’s hard to narrow it down to just one post. Jenna, the author of The Chronicles of Munchkin Land, writes about her experiences as a birth mother in an open adoption with her daughter and her family. In this particular post, she writes about how difficult the month of December can be for her and how she tries to get through it by keeping busy and continuing to keep moving. Her writing is very powerful and front the heart: ‘I try to remind myself that joy and sadness can be present at the same time.’ Her post really resonated with me.”

Parents, please educate your kids about adoption so mine don’t have to by Kristen of Rage Against the Minivan
Writes Traathy, “It’s a fantastic post about kids dealing with race and adoption.”

Treating birth families like, well, FAMILY by LisaAnne of Living Through Today
Writes Lori, “LisaAnne connects the dots while perusing adoption boards one day, and distills how open adoption relationships can work with just one simple sentence.”

Live Into the Invitation by KatjaMichelle of Therapy Is Expensive
Writes Barbara, “KatjaMichelle is a birthmom. She’s also a social worker and counsels expectant parents. She is funny and smart and her writing touches me. I chose this post because I often think about my daughter’s birthmom and wonder how she copes with her feelings of loss.”

Internalizations Gone Wild by Kumar of Stuckout
Writes Addison, “Kumar’s excellently insightful post illustrates the thoughts and feelings that go into the question of whether to pursue openness.”

Something Different by Rebecca Hawkes of Love is Not a Pie
Writes Danielle, “This post is haunting, and so eloquent. It’s something that, as a birthmother, I can relate to. The constant shadow of someone who once was within my reach. The aching, the hurt, and the possibilities of what could have been. It’s a beautiful tribute, and a poignant reminder of what is lost for adoptees.”

Why Adoptees Don’t Let Go of the Past by Deanna Shrodes of Lost Daughters
Submitted by Peach

My Voice (Your Voice) by Maggie of Pink Shoes
Writes Camille, “It’s a beautiful and encouraging message for those of us that take the time to share our stories and experiences with adoption. “

If only for a short time by Lindsey Redfern of The R House
Writes Christy, “In dealing with our own form of loss after being so close to being chosen, but things not work out, I found it really comforting to read this post from The R House. I know that others have traveled a hard road on adoption, too, and many have experienced more pain than I could imagine. Though there are many stories of loss and pain on this journey, I know that the blessings of open adoption and family are worth it. It’s wonderful not to have to go through this alone.”

Our Jackson by Lindsey Redfern of The R House
Submitted by Alice Anne

Under Rug Swept by rlg of Breaking into Blossom
Writes Jess, “All of the writing on this blog is simply beautiful and touches me deeply. This couple has been through everything. This post describes how they were matched with a mother very early on in their wait. The excitement that they shared with their readers continues to be an inspiration to me. Sadly, this situation got incredible complicated and the child, who was with them for a month, is now with his birth mother once again. Rereading this initial blog post about their match is a reminder of what we are all working towards.”

Miss Rebekah by Rebekah Pinchback of Heart Cries
Writes Dolores, “I love the way she talks to her son about his birthmom and her love for her son’s birthmom.”

The letter, again by Erika Bates of Something Beautiful
Writes Colleen, “I have never read something that so perfectly captured that terrible experience of infertility like Erika’s blog did. For those inside of it, it is our personal hell, but something so hard to explain to everyone else.  This blog explained. Perfectly. For everyone.”

I Told Someone by Geochick of An Engineer Becomes a Mom
Writes Rain, “It’s a beautifully honest post about sharing and open adoption!”

Talking by Lilysea of Peter’s Cross Station
Writes Wendryn, “We’re just starting out in adoption–our daughter just turned a year old–but I really want her to be comfortable talking about all aspects of what can be an awkward conversation. I like this approach.”

A Letter To My Post-Adoption Social Worker by Amanda of The Declassified Adoptee
Writes Luna, “Amanda is such an eloquent and impassioned activist, such a compelling advocate for adoptee rights. I’ve shared this one with social workers and others connected to adoption.”

Mother’s Day with my son’s birth-mother….Part 3 by Bumberjoy of Bumber’s Bumblings
Writes Maggie, “There are three parts to this post–I love them all. I especially like part three however because it is told from a birth-mother’s perspective. I think those are some of the most important perspectives to get when it comes to adoption. They play such an integral role in an open adoption and getting a peek into what they think about everything is an amazing gift!”

Public Enemy #1 by Maggie of Pink Shoes
Writes Bumberjoy, “Maggie’s thoughts so mirror mine in this post. I started noticing in the last couple of years that friends who were struggling with infertility were avoiding me like the plague and I couldn’t really understand it until I read this post. Adoption is not a band-aid for infertility, but an alternative to building a family when there is no other option. I love Maggie’s heart and openness in her adoption!”

You’re S0 Normal by Alison Noyce of They’re All My Own
Writes Robyn, “In a year when I personally saw so many people from all sides of the triad fighting, I thought this post was a refreshing perspective from an adult adoptee.”

While In Vegas by Melinda of He’s Our Heart; She’s Our Hero
Writes Meg, “I connected with Melinda at an adoption training in Pittsburgh, where we both live nearby. We were new to the adoption process, they had been waiting well over a year. We bonded immediately, and emailed daily as we finished up our homestudy and they were considered for different adoptions situations. Inexplicably, a few weeks later, we were matched with our son’s birthmother. I was not prepared to be matched just six weeks after finishing our home study, and wanted to be able to tell Melinda myself. Instead, our agency put a ‘Placement Pending’ banner over our picture immediately…my heart ached for my friend finding out that way…. The week that my son Eli was born, Melinda was matched with an expectant mom. This is the story of her son Noah’s birth. I was SO excited for her. I’m excited that Noah and Eli get to grow up knowing each other, as adoption buddies! This post captures it all–the raw honesty, empathy, and excitement.”

Raw by Meg of God Will Fill This Nest
Writes Melinda, “It was like she was speaking the feeling I also had about the loss our son’s birth mother felt.”

100 Years Older by A Life Being Lived of Carrying a Cat by the Tail
Writes Ariel, “This post perfectly describes something that until I read it, I found hard to put into words. Feeling much older than everyone else, no matter how old they are, and finding it hard to meet and relate to people is very isolating.”

Prison Blues by Rain of Weathering Storms
Writes Geochick, “This post resonated with me. A raw and empathetic look at how to deal with a difficult adoption story.”

Half-Breed by Lori Lavender Luz of Write Mind Open Heart
Submitted by Laura

Fun with Mara’s Family by Thorn of Mother Issues
Writes KatjaMichelle, “I love this post because it illustrates openness from foster care in such a positive light. Too often people say openness from foster care can’t be done or can only be annual letters or pictures, but no in person contact and Thorn and Lee make it work. I’m not saying it’s easy, but they manage to make it work. I want to share this with every foster parent and parent considering adoption through foster care.”

Birthmother’s Cake: What People Really Think About the Act Of Selfless Love Called Adoption by Claudia of Musings of the Lame
Submitted by Jess

The Call–Part 2 by Amber of Ala Carte Baby
Writes Cat, “I came across Amber’s blog a while ago and enjoyed reading about her journey to expanding her family through adoption. When she and her husband were matched, I rejoiced with them and couldn’t wait to follow her blog as it all unfolded. Amber always writes so beautifully, and I remember reading this post and sobbing. She and her family experienced a failed match. The fact that she shared her story on her blog meant so much, and I hurt so much for her. I think she’s an exceptional person and I hope others will check out her blog and read about how her family has changed since this post back in June of 2012.”